Well, it’s that time of year again when we celebrate (?) all hallows eve. We did a bit of Googling and scoured the underbelly of the interwebs and found 10 pretty humorous China related Halloween costumes. You can click on each picture to see a better and bigger image and buy it if you want! No, China does not celebrate Halloween but often Americans living in China will throw funny Halloween related parties or get-togethers. I just wouldn’t be caught dead in China with these costumes! Without further banter here are the 10:

1. Confucius eyebrows, mustache and facial hair -
For all of those out there that want the facial hair that are only for a sage genius we offer you this gem. You can spout off real Confucius quotes or some that you read online that cannot be repeated here. The number 1 question you’ll get at the front door is, “IS THAT REAL?” To which you can answer, “What IS real?” A real winner of a costume accessory!


2. Ni Hao Kai Lan Wig and clothes -
For all the girls out there that enjoy Ni Hao Kai Lan which is a popular animated show on TV today, we have this costume. This is very unique in American Halloween celebrating because most people won’t know who she is and when asked, the girls will say HELLO in Chinese at every door! COOL! This doesn’t work for the guys but maybe we can find a costume for Kai Lan’s Ye ye…!


3. Full Body Dragon Costume -
This one won’t scare a soul but will get lots of “ooohs and aaaahs” from everyone! Looks like a great costume too for those cold New England Halloween afternoon evenings. The question does remain about access to diaper areas for those worried parents. Perhaps you just move the tail away and make a couple zips. I can imagine our little boy walking down a leaf strewn street with his tail wagging back and forth. Cutest option!


4. Geisha Girl Dress Up Costume -
Now this is the problem with the west sometimes. We use words that are supposed to evoke China but fail miserably for those who know. Geisha as far as I know is a Japanese term. But the dress this little girl is wearing is very clearly a qipao which is a traditional Chinese dress. MX wore one as our going away dress for our wedding. But why do they use the term Geisha? Maybe it just makes it sound EASTERN. Who knows. But then again in the movie “Memoirs of a Geisha” the main actress was Zhang Ziyi who is 100% Chinese. That’s the problem with East Asia.


5. Kung Fu Panda Costume -
This is a classic. I wonder if the animators and creators of Kung Fu Panda ever thought that they would make tons of money on costumes of their character. The best part about this costume is that when your first bag of candy is full just stuff it inside your costume and you’ll look even more authentic! Perhaps you can get your whole neighborhood together and you could be all the characters from Kung Fu Panda except of course the praying mantis. He’s too small.

6. Kids China Boy Costume -
This is a classic. It keeps the idea alive in American’s ideas that this is the way Chinese still dress today. If you really want to make an authentic Chinese boy outfit the person should wear clothes with Chinglish on it and carry a backpack overloaded with homework, along with some sort of video game system in their pocket and with doting grandparents behind him and telling him that the candy is too sweet.


7. Women’s Chinese Take out Clothing Costume -
This one takes the cake, or fortune cookie. Who would ever think of something so bizarre. Nobody in China would have an idea that this would have to do with China. Her clothes are a take out box from a Chinese restaurant. The worst and cheesiest part is that on the back her clothes have the phrase, “Take me out” which is a real eye roller! It looks like her purse is even a Chinese take out box! I would hate to mix that one up! Where’s the duck sauce?


8. Deluxe Coolie Hat -
Yes, that’s right. Not just a coolie hat but a deluxe coolie hat. This is a hilarious costume accessory and at the same time sad. I remember travelling some place in China years ago, maybe Guilin or Yangshuo, where everyone was wearing these kinds of hats. I found it a bit odd because what are you trying to be like? Are you pretending to be a migrant worker or peasant? Are we glamorizing and glorifying this kind of work? I respect them but I wouldn’t wear a hat like this only because I don’t know what they would think about westerners or anybody wearing these kinds of hats. It just struck me as odd.


9. Mandarin Chinese Costume Moustache -
This one is a bit disconcerting since the label on the product itself says HUMAN HAIR. Great. Whose hair is that? But this moustache along with a couple long finger nails and demanding candy would make a great costume for Halloween. If people don’t know who you are supposed to be, all you have to do is twirl your cool Mandarin Moustache and hope it doesn’t fall off.


10. Chinese Take-out Costume -
This is the winner hands down! What in the world is this? Imagine going to a Halloween party like this? How many jokes can you think of to make fun of this bonehead? ”Where are the chopsticks man?” or “Dude, too much MSG!” or how about this one? ”Who are you supposed to be? Pu Pu Platter?” The jokes would be so fast and furious that I would get sick of them after a while. I bet there’s a noodle inside that slowly comes out all night long… after a while you’ve got this long noodle coming from your take out box that people are stepping on. This would be fun to wear year after year but only if the price is right.
Halloween Links from MandMx:
Teaching English in China 2004: Our big Halloween Party! What did I dress up as?
Teaching English in China 2005: Our second big Halloween Party! What did I dress up as this year?
MandMx Chinese costumes comics first second third fourth fifth
Halloween in China. What’s it like? Check these comics out here and here and here and here and here